Obama Drinking Game - Hilarious

The Official Obama State of the Union Drinking Game

Posted by Scott Edwards in Opinion, Politics on January 26, 2010

As the nation eagerly awaits the first official State of the Union address from our earliest lame duck president, I suggest you visit your local liquor store and stock up so you can play The Official Obama State of the Union Drinking Game.

The rules are as follows:

1) If Vice President Joe Biden is in attendance: Drink a domestic beer in honor of “Nobody Messes With” Joe Sixpack.

2) If Vice President Joe Biden is in attendance and was actually invited: Drink the entire six pack.

3) If Nancy Pelosi jumps up clapping like she is engaged in calisthenics like Obama’s first address: Drink an appletini in honor of her beloved San Francisco.

4) For every time President Obama says, “Let me be clear,” take a shot of Everclear. (You can alternate between shots of Everclear and water if you want to make it through the entire speech. But why would you?)

5) If, during Obama’s discussion of health care, a member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus jumps up and yells, “You lie!,” drink a Mint Julep* in honor of South Carolina congressman Joe Wilson and take a shot of Finlandia vodka in honor of Finland where they have publicly funded health care. (*I know Kentucky has a better claim to this drink.)

6) Every time President Obama mentions deficit reduction, fiscal responsibility, a spending freeze, or any other variation, drink an entire bottle of Everclear. Sure you won’t remember what Obama said in the morning, but neither will he.

7) For every mention of predecessors, or previous administrations, or inherited messes, please drink a non-alcoholic beer in honor of former President George W. Bush.

8) For every use of a straw man argument by President Obama drink a strawberry daiquiri.

9) For every either/or fallacy used by President Obama, you must either drink a martini or be a teetotaler.

10) Every time President Obama attacks banks, corporations, Wall Street, or greed in general, drink some bathtub gin because that’s all you will be able to afford by the end of the week.

11) For every mention of the memory of the late Sen. Ted Kennedy, drink a Chivas and soda. But afterward, don’t get in your car and drive over a bridge. Or try to sandwich a waitress with Sen. Chris Dodd.

12) For every use of the word “I” by President Obama, I suggest you take a brief respite from drinking to avoid alcohol poisoning.

Cheers!